Guess Who's Coming to Dinner??

So you've chosen a date, and you've found that perfect venue, but now, you must decide on who will join you to celebrate your new life as Mr. & Mrs. 

Weddings used to be simple affairs; bride, groom, minister and a few witnesses would gather in the Bride's home, vows would be exchanged, a bite of cake consumed, and the happy couple would ride off into happily ever after!

My Paternal Grandparents marry in Vermont 1920's

Now it seems the clarion cry is BIG. We invite everyone we've ever remotely known. We have sleepless nights over the folks we may have offended! But think about this...if you invite 200 people to your wedding, and talk with each guest for just one minute, you'll need three hours and twenty minutes, and you'll never eat, drink, dance or breathe!!

Don't invite EVERYONE!

We had 60 guests at our daughter's wedding, and found even that number left us longing for more time with our dear friends and family, who traveled a long way to be with us. For that kind of intimacy you need to keep the numbers down to the immediate family and four or five friends for the bride and groom.

Long tables and a meal served family style for 60

So, think about your personality as individuals and as a couple. If a fun, crazy, dance marathon is your idea of a good time, go for the crowds if your budget allows (because we all know that 3 couples on a dance floor does not a party make!). If you want a relaxed, food oriented, family friendly sit down meal, then go for the 60-80 crowd. When an intimate relaxed affair appeals..head off for a destination wedding with just the very closest circle of friends. 

Stick to YOUR style and you can be confident you'll have a celebration to cherish for a lifetime!

Tools of the Trade

Though I've been to many weddings over the years and played music for some wonderful couples, actually helping my daughter plan her wedding was a whole new world for me. My best tips: take time to get inspired, AND get organized...the mountain of details can be managed if you start with a plan early on.

Lawn near the VMFA; a site we considered.

 

We found beauty all around us.

Inspiration came from friends, internet sites, and just keeping our eyes open. Yes, we bought a few of the wedding magazines, and we did go to one wedding "expo" that was painfully NOT our style....I knew it was bad when all the food was brown, and someone tried to put a bride sash on Emily and she looked like she wanted to punch the lady!

Keep your eyes open, and note what makes you smile.

Tools you can use:

1. GOOGLE DOCS!
We used them for Guest information lists and job planning lists. So easy to share information with everyone who needs it.

2. PINTEREST. Though I saw a hysterical youtube called Pinterest Intervention (and I have friends who quit Pinterest because of the envy factor) we got a lot of inspiration from this site.

3. RECENTLY MARRIED FRIENDS can tell you all the things to avoid, and the things to be sure to include. Experience is a great teacher!

Enjoy the process and keep what's important at the forefront...the years of a happy marriage ahead!

 

Beauty in Any Season

Choosing the time of year for your wedding can be a challenge, when many other brides are vying for the ever popular May and June. Once you're engaged, bridal shops and vendors will put the scare on you, pressuring you to feel you are already TOO LATE! to pull off a wedding of any kind!

Cocktails in the garden anyone?

We had the luxury of a full year from the engagement, but didn't really get down to the business of deciding until 10 months out. We had a lot of discussions about the size of the wedding, which helped us to estimate our budget to be sure we could swing the venues we considered. But, just walking around in these gardens helped to get our creative engines  purring.

By fall these beds would be overflowing with final harvests.

We chose a fall 3 day weekend, so we knew we were going to have some competition, and our first call to the beautiful venue we fell in love with was, sorry, booked that day! They even suggested a Sunday wedding and possible tent sharing with the Saturday folks (flexing on things like that can get you close to what you are hoping for). But in the end, the earlier booking fell through, and we were able to secure our planned for day. THAT was a huge relief to all of us. Now we could really get to work!

Gardens help bring a serene mood to a busy day

So, if you are planning a wedding, focus first on where and when, and lock in the date as early as you can, remembering that 3 day weekends in the fall are nearly as popular as the May and June weekends. If you're adventurous, like some of my friends, you can even make August a wonderful month for a wedding in a beautiful garden...just don't forget the fans, water and BUG SPRAY!

About that Venue

 Once you've convinced that special gal to say YES, there are as many options for getting to that I DO day as there are happy couples. Deciding when was easy for our couple (engaged in September, Married the following October over a long holiday weekend), but where was another story all together. We made the list of who while driving between venue options, and debated the pros and cons of each site thoroughly, including suggesting eloping (thanks Padre!) but mama put a stop to that pdq!

Committing to a venue will be your first opportunity for sticker shock, but doing your homework helps. We searched online, asked friends, considered places all over the state of Virginia, and finally, when we walked onto the grounds of the beautiful gardens at Tuckahoe Plantation, Thomas Jefferson's boyhood home, we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. We all thought "this is it!", and the groom got a little misty eyed!

Even with winter shrouding the sleeping garden with greys and spent flowers, it had fine bones. It was one of the best choices we made, creating the perfect backdrop for our relaxed but elegant concept. Here it is in spring when we came back to firm up our plans for the Wedding Day.

 

Remembering

After a year's worth of work and planning, looking and pondering, searching and creating, we were finally able to celebrate our daughter's wedding with a small group of family and friends at Tuckahoe Plantation near Richmond, Virginia. 

To capture that wonderful day, and some of what we did to bring that day together, and with the encouragement of the Bride herself, I'm starting this new blog, HortiCultured Weddings. Hoping others will find inspiration to break free of the cookie cutter wedding world and find a way to celebrate in their own unique style. Enjoy!