Saying YES to YOUR dress!

So you have the date, the venue, the guest list, and that wonderful groom. But choosing the dress you will wear is a process fraught with angst and anxiety for many a bride.

Some brides have an innate sense of what they want, and what flatters them, and the budget to get it. But on a day when looking and feeling your best is paramount, it can be overwhelming to look through the racks of bridal gowns and wonder what is YOUR style, and will you be able to find something in your price range that you LOVE? Meanwhile, some of those shop owners are less than understanding!

In my first debute as mother of the bride, I found this part to be surprisingly challenging. Unlike the tv shows where mom or bridesmaid derails the process, it was the bride who was self critical and frustrated.All her attendants just kept oohing, "You look gorgeous!" yet she was NOT convinced. How to find just the right thing became our mission for the next six months.

too poofy

a contender we found at a consignment shop

Nice details

the bride says, "boring!"

Looking good but not THE one yet.

Take your time, don't book too many appointments in one day, have a glass of wine! Don't give up, you CAN have a dress you will feel great wearing, and at a price you can afford. Don't settle!

glam bow and lace

Memories of Swan Lake!

Pinterest and magazines can serve as a guide, but they may not help, as your local shop may not carry anything like what you are seeing. Try on a variety of styles to see what actually does fit, or flatter your figure. Think about the type of fabric, as well as the amount of embellishment you want.

Those dressmaker tools

Our homemade head piece

There truly are many stunning gowns out there, but if you are looking for something simple and straight forward without a lot of bling, be ready to try creative alternatives. After visiting TEN shops (from David's Bridal, to many small shops, consignment and even JCrew), we decided to take the plunge and have mama make the dress. Having sewn for years and taken a pattern drafting class, I thought, this IS do-able, and it was!

We made a mock up, to see if the style was flattering, and right away I got a big smile from the bride to be. So off we went down that road, which is a whole "nuther" story! But as you can see, the bride was gorgeous on her special day!

Dupion silk gown for $140 and a dapper gentleman friend of the bride.

                        

Know Thyself

According to Wikipedia, that (cough) fountain of wisdom:

The maxim "know thyself" is applied to those whose boasts exceed what they are,"and that "know thyself" is a warning to pay no attention to the opinion of the multitude.<sup>[3] 


For families in wedding planning mode, all the principle players need to heed this tidbit of Ancient advice. You'll have a multitude of opinions and personalities, and a few who may not have much experience working well with others.

Is your family made up of perfectionists? detail police? procrastinators? organizers? dreamers, or those ever frustrating non decision makers? All these folks can derail the best laid wedding plans! If you want smooth sailing, you need to get an accurate read on WHO is involved, and prepare to use their strengths!

We took advantage of one detail oriented family member, and kept weighing in with said person to see if we had missed anything. YES, this took humility, but it worked! This person DID think of things we hadn't, and was able to worry over it all a bit less because their insight was valued.</sup>

Can you find the Caterer?

<sup>One friend's daughter recently got married, and she (the Bride) spent a lot of time in the "dreaming" category, but not in the doing category. Get the person who likes to take action to make those phone calls! and don't expect the Bride will be driving the show just because she's the one getting married :).


Divide up the work along the lines of each person's personality, and when you have the luxury of hiring anyone to do things for you, be sure your personalities match up. Our Caterer was friendly and easy going, but was all business on the day of the event. He had ONE goal, and that was to be sure we and all our guests had a fabulous time! And we did!


And a final word to the M.O.B. if you do not tend to stay calm under fire, well...hire a wedding co-ordinator and step away. It's a BIG job. If you take it on, be sure to take care of yourself along the way, and keep in mind that the relationships are forever, and this wedding is only one day!</sup>